“Quit dreaming of authorship…”
“The desire to write is like a nagging mother.” ~ Erma Bombeck
There is an old framed newspaper column hanging above my desk that was written probably more than 20 years ago by Erma Bombeck, who most will remember as a wildly popular and beloved author, newspaper columnist and humorist. When Erma died in 1996, a very unique and inspirational voice was silenced.
The title of the column is “Quit Dreaming of Authorship and Set Sail for Success.” I remember the day that I clipped it out of the Arizona Republic, the daily newspaper in Phoenix where I – and Erma — lived at the time. Its title literally jumped off the page and slapped me to attention because that was exactly what I was doing…dreaming of one day becoming a writer and book author when I would write the “great American novel,” as we used to say. The article itself wasn’t profound or earth-shattering. In fact, it was a humor column with a bit of inspiration tucked in between the lines. But for me, a young aspiring writer who had never published a word, it gave me hope that one day I too could see my name in print.
I was fortunate to know Erma Bombeck and her husband Bill during the time I lived in Phoenix and she always, always was a funny, humble and inspirational woman with streak of kindness a mile wide. There was something about her — a former housewife turned newspaper columnist turned best-selling author – that always made me feel like I could do it too.
I keep Erma’s column in close eyeball viewing range and glance up at the bold, black title quite often. Even though I am now a published writer, it serves as my little reminder to keep following — and acting upon — my dreams. I believe everyone needs a visual reminder, every day, of what their goals and dream are. It is sort of my mini “vision board,” as Oprah Winfrey calls it.
Here is a shortened version of Erma’s column.
“Quit Dreaming of Authorship and Set Sail for Success”
By Erma Bombeck
“The desire to write is like a nagging mother. It follows you into marriage, surfaces after the birth of children, interrupts you when you’re busy and makes you feel guilty when you are having fun. The need to immortalize yourself on paper never goes away. The fantasy of signing your book, to Danielle Steel (who has been in line for two hours), “To my number 1 fan,” haunts you.
Most hopefuls say they’ll write when the kids are grown, their oven is clean or they finish transferring all their recipes into the computer.
Not a day goes by that I don’t hear from aspiring writers who have questions. “What if I fail?” (“What if you succeed?”)
One woman who wrote for a weekly paper said she occasionally gets hate mail. She wanted to know how to handle it. If she thinks everyone is going to love her and her prose, I hope she increases her medication. I once received a box tied with a gold ribbon. It contained manure. The thing to remember about sweet success is: Don’t inhale.
It is probably true that every person has a book in him or her fighting to get out. The wannabe writer has to commit by putting all those hopes and dreams on the line. It’s time to get the book written.
As a crusty admiral once said, “A ship is safe in port – but that’s not where a ship is meant to be.” She’s right. It was meant to challenge the elements, ride the high seas and risk being sunk.
Desire just doesn’t cut it.”
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